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Benefits of Intermittent Fasting
Why DIY?
- How much cleaner I needed to start keeping my floors (when was the last time you got down on your belly and looked at your floor? Ew.) and
- What was I cleaning my floor with that my new baby would be potentially licking?
Non-Toxic Dishwasher Soap (makes 44 loads)
- In a glass bowl (I use a pyrex measuring cup with a spout for easy pouring), combine all dry ingredients and mix thoroughly.
- Transfer to a mason jar and add essential oil.
- Place lid on jar and shake well to disperse oil.
- Use 1 Tablespoon per dishwasher load
Avocado and Eggs on sourdough Toast
Oatmeal Pancakes
Egg Bake
Sweet Potato and Egg Scramble
Breakfast Pizza
Overnight chia breakfast bowls
Breakfast Burritos/Quesadillas
Cottage Cheese with Peaches and sourdough Toast
Fresh Fruit and Yogurt
Eggs Benedict over savory waffles
- Setting a bedtime for me [not just my kids!] and sticking to it. The struggle is real on this one. But when I do it [shocker] I feel SO much better! We know how important routine is for our kids…so why do we think that it doesn’t apply to us as adults?
- Read every. single. day. I love to read. I believe that if you’re not growing, you’re dying. Previously, I was not great at making it a priority. There are 2 ways I now make this happen. Either A) while on the treadmill or B) as part of my “bedtime”, 15 minutes before the time that I set. Need a suggestion? This book will forever be one of my favorites and applies to EVERYONE.
- Use a planner. This felt super tedious when I first started. It felt like I was wasting valuable time filling it out. But here’s the thing…when I take the time to fill it out, I’m more organized and remember all of the things that I used to think I could keep straight in my head and therefore it is well worth the few minutes it takes me each day. This is the planner that I use, but a good friend of mine also likes this one.
- Date nights. I know this may sound silly. But if you’re like me, a parent with small children, this is SO easy to overlook. My hubby and I are kind of old-fashioned and would like to stay married. Crazy, I know. Relationships take work. So we got out our calendars and scheduled dates. All 12 for 2020 are set. While our kids are a big priority for us, so is our marriage and we know we need to still like each other after the kids are all grown up!
- Meal planning. This is probably the habit that I still struggle with the most. I LOVE how it simplifies my life, [and my grocery list!] saves me time, money and stress when I do it. Which should all be reasons to keep it going, right? My biggest struggle with this is that life gets in the way sometimes and my days don’t always go as planned. What I’ve done to combat this is to keep a few quick staple items on hand for when I can’t make the meal I had planned. Being able to roll with things helps me to stay on track.
- Learning proper self care. For years I’ve pushed myself to the point of exhaustion telling myself I can sleep when I’m dead. I’ve learned [the hard way, of course] that if I take better care of myself, then I can do SO much more and feel SO much better doing it! One of my favorite things for staying on track with my goals of exercising and watching portions can be found here.
I think we can all agree there is a lot of pressure on moms. We’re somehow supposed to do it all, do it well AND be super happy while doing it. We’re supposed to have these “Instagram worthy” homes, kids, food and clothes. Let’s talk a little about how we’re failing as moms (it’s not how you think).
Mommin’ Aint Easy
It was our typically chaotic Monday. Full day of work, get child one off the bus, pick child two up from daycare, scramble to make dinner and get out the door to dance on time. As we’re rushing in at the last minute (as usual) I take note of all of the other moms already there, sitting in the hallway of our school, waiting for dance to start. Most of them are deep into the “scroll hole” catching up on emails, social media or getting back to text messages. I manage to get my daughter’s dance shoes on quickly and help her to her spot with her class before taking my own in the hallway.
I glance around again before pulling out my own iPhone. During dance they have a no distraction policy, which means parents can’t watch the children dance until the last 5 minutes of class. You can imagine how much would get accomplished if they didn’t do this! This is my daughter’s first year of dance and I don’t know many of the other moms. A couple I know as a friend of a friend, but none of them well. Most of them are new faces. I notice a mom who skated in right behind me with her daughter who looked to be the same age as mine.
Why Is Making “Mom Friends” So Awkward?
She sat down a few spots over from me. Her daughter burst into tears when she brought her into the room with the other dancers. The little girl didn’t want her mom to leave her, but within 2 minutes flat, she stopped sobbing and joined in with the other little girls. Pretty minor to most of us sitting there, but the mom was clearly still frazzled. She fidgeted a bit, as if trying to work up the courage to say something. Then she visibly braced herself and forced the words to leave her lips. “Hey moms!” she addressed the group nervously. “Have any of you ever had a child that has struggled with separation anxiety?”
My heart swelled with pride for her. It was obviously hard for her to address this group of dance moms that she didn’t know yet. I listened intently for a moment, waiting to hear what pearls of wisdom they had to offer a fellow mama in need. I was excited at the opportunity to get to know these women. Some of our daughters would likely become friends and it would be nice to at least have a general vibe of the parents.
How We’re Failing As Moms (It’s Not How You Think)
What happened next made me question my faith in humanity. I watched as approximately 14 moms (mostly in their 30’s, no less) shrugged their shoulders at her. Then, I watched as they looked at her like she was bothering them and that she was dumb for asking such a thing. I listened with my mouth hanging open as the few that even bothered to reply gave her (snottily, may I add) a simple “Nope.”
Are you effing kidding me? For real?!? THIS my friends, this is where we are failing as moms. This is the type of thing that makes my blood boil.
The thought of another kid bullying our kid is horrifying. It makes our inner mama bears come out in a fierce way. We hope that the kids that our kids come into contact with are taught to be kind. To be helpful and courteous and considerate. Yet as I sat there at dance the other night, watching this unfold right in front of me, all I could do for an instant was be incredibly sad. How can our children learn this sort of behavior when we as thirty-something year old mothers can’t get it right?!
We Can Do Better
Trust me, I know some days are hard, mamas. I do. I’m right there in the trenches too. Long days and short years. Trying to do it all, do it well and make it look easy. I know we are all tired and just doing the best we can. No one understands this feeling the way another mom does. It can be a hard and oh so lonely road. A road so simultaneously joyful that you think your heart will burst one second, followed immediately by trying like hell not to lose your ever loving shit in the next. It’s incredible and exhausting. This is exactly why we simply can not keep failing each other.
This mom and I sat there for a moment, both stunned, disappointed and unsure of what to do next. I didn’t know what to do or say. I didn’t feel like I had anything special to offer her that she hadn’t probably already heard or tried. But these are the words that I managed to form… “You’re doing great mama.”
How many times in your “mommy career” would it have made all the difference to just have a little reassurance? With all of the pressure, the judging, the ways we imagine that we’re screwing it all up…what would those few simple words have done for you? I know what it would have done for me and I know what it did for her (because she told me as we talked for another 20 minutes).
We are failing, but not in all of the ways that we think we are. We don’t need to be perfect. Our homes, kids, food and clothes don’t have to be amazing all of the time. What we should strive for instead is much simpler and far less stressful. Be kind. Stop failing our fellow mom and support each other. Be the kind of friend you’d want if you were struggling. You know, all of the same things we’re trying to teach our children. How about we all stop telling them what to do and we start really showing them how it’s done?